My friend was heading to Portland, she was generous enough to ask me what I wanted, and willing to bring it back for me. Hearing she planned to head to “Voodoo Doughnuts”, I had to take the opportunity to cross one off the foodie bucket list.
“Voodoo Doughnuts” is known for their over the top creations. Colourful rounds with your favourite breakfast cereal, frosting made alive with funny faces, and fun topping and filling combinations. Mismatched pairing that just worked like the orange drink, “Tang” and marshmallow.
She brought six of them back in their trademark pink cardboard box, which is just as iconic as the doughnuts inside. When I first lifted the lid, I noticed how great they look. Great, considering how hot the weather had been in Portland and how hot it was in Vancouver today. Great, considering that they had been traveling for five hours in a car, and was transported in the trunk from stop to stop on a six person road trip.
She was happy to announce that with several locations they found one without a line. At 6pm there was just three parties waiting in front of theirs. And not only that, but this location they had everything their website listed in stock. All my doughnut requests would go answered.
They had over 50 different flavours, 15 of which were vegan friendly. There was such a variety to sort through, that it took me a while to narrow down what it was that I wanted. I don’t know how you can decide or ever pick a favourite? However seeing as they came in a box of six I used their online menu and went with what I thought was the most unusual or iconic. A doughnut not made anywhere else, or close to the likes of anything I have seen in Vancouver. I would consider the doughnuts in Vancouver pretty gourmet. They are dressed with artisan flavours like London fog and cherry blossom. Pretty doughnuts, whereas the ones from “Voodoo” were decadent and dirty, piled high with toppings and shaped like penises and blunts. As you may have guessed, where I couldn’t choose based on flavour, I went for looks.
When visiting for the first time, you have to try their trademark: the “Voodoo Doll Doughnut”. This is their most photographed doughnut. It is a raised yeast doughnut filled with raspberry jelly. Each ones resembles a figure with outreach nubs for arms. It is topped with chocolate frosting and staked through the heart with a salted pretzel stick. If you could illustrate the word “voodoo” this would be it. The neat part is that the characteristics of each Voodoo Doll is different, no two are alike. This was a fun visual twist in chocolate and raspberry. The dough was not as fresh as the others, but there was plenty of jam filling to moisten things up. The jelly was a tart berry that paired well with the sweet milk chocolate.
The “Loop Doughnut” was equally stunning with its rainbow exterior. Chunky from the rounds of many fruit loops set into place with vanilla frosting. The fun colours took away from the soggy loops and the excessive amount of sweetness from all the frosting. Truth be told, this one was more for novelty, and I would have preferred the doughnut plain.
The “Diablos Rex Doughnut” stood out with its vanilla frosted pentagram and fitting name. It was devilish with chocolate. A chocolate cake base, with chocolate frosting, and chocolate chips in the middle. The red sprinkles added flare to the evil in its name. It was like eating devil’s food cake, but in a dense fried doughnut form.
The “Maple Blazer Blunt Doughnut” is the first, and probably the only doughnut to be made in the imagine of a joint. It is a raised doughnut rolled to resemble a blunt, but looked more like a party horn with one narrow end to blow into and one wide, for the sound to come out of. The “lit” end was dipped in maple frosting and sprinkled with red to resemble “ember”. In terms of taste it was just a plain sugar coated doughnut until you get to the “lit” end. I liked the crunchy texture from the sugar granules.
I clearly requested the “Cock-N-Balls Doughnut” for novelty. Once again, where else would you, could you, find such doughnut? Although the website promised orange frosting spelling out “cock n’ balls”. This would have help to identify the doughnut’s intention. Without a written description it just looked like a blob in chocolate frosting. Especially as the chocolate from the tip rubbed off on to the side of the box. This was a big doughnut, essentially three separate doughnuts moulded together to form the image of a shaft and two balls. Each section was raised yeast dough filled with, what else but, a nice yellowish Bavarian cream. Although in my opinion not enough cream for the intention. I was disappointed by the lack of cream, like sex without a climax. (Excuse my pun). But each morsel was saved by the great fluffy dough and the luscious chocolate that had more than enough flavour between the two. This is the one I will go back for taste and texture.
And to match the cook above is the “Dirty snowball doughnut”, best sold in pairs to resemble breast; hence the “dirty” in the title. It is a chocolate cake doughnut with marshmallow topping, dipped in coconut and topped with a dollop of peanut butter in the middle (for the nipple). I was surprised how well all the flavours went together. Coconut and peanut butter who knew?
Each doughnut was larger than most. A box of six took my partner and I a while to get through. So in the fridge they stayed to avoid further melting and to keep them fresh for when we were ready to have them. We were surprised that they lasted so long. They kept their fresh spongy texture and tasted good up to a week later.
Would I come back? – Yes.
Would I line up for it? – Yes.
Would I recommend it? – Yes.
Would I suggest this to someone visiting from out of town? – Yes.
I will be planning to visit this one in person. To see the entire selection of their doughnuts with my own two eyes. Especially to take up the challenge of eating their Texas sized doughnut. A doughnut so big that it is equivalent to six individual doughnut. And if you managed to eat it all in under 80 seconds you get your money back. But be prepared they only take cash. Don’t deny your cravings.